


Takizawa Dabs

by sithgem



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack, Crying, Dabbing, Death, F/M, Memes, the death is for my fucking existence after making this fic is what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 17:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7371763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sithgem/pseuds/sithgem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>takizawa fuckign dabs it's what the title says what more do you fuckg n want he dabs that's all this fic is about it's about seidou motherfucking takizawa dabbing and mado shaming the entirety of his life choices he uckg dabs what more do you people want from me just let the man dab jesus christ motherfucking spider man spider man fuck put in the time fuckin build shit with his bare hands trent reson-oar did the soundtrack fuck jesse eisenberg man</p>
            </blockquote>





	Takizawa Dabs

**Author's Note:**

> this is the epitome of my writing career

Takizawa and Mado were hanging out at her apartment one night.

"Wow," Mado said. "Isn't this just a wonderful evening, my conventionally attractive romantic partner who is also a violent and crazed ghoul, Seidou?"

"Why yes it is, my strong-willed yet stubborn and skilled ghoul investigator girlfriend, Akira," Takizawa replied.

Then, out of nowhere on the radio playing somewhere conveniently placed around the house, the hit song "Dab" by rap hip-hop group Migos began playing on the radio. Which was strange considering at the time of me writing this, the song's official Youtube view count barely passes a hundred fifty thousand but honestly who gives a fuck?

Instinctively, as if the song itself had begun to control him, Takizawa stood up from his seat, and raised his arms.

"No." Mado knew what was to come. "Don't do it, my relatively small-dicked life partner who simultaneously has a strange fascination with practically invisible rap artists in comparison to other acclaimed hip hop sensations including but not limited to Fetty Wap, DJ Khaled, and the much whiter George Watsky."

But it was too late. Takizawa's arms were already in motion. Swiftly, he moved his arms straight to the left side of his body, ducking his head behind them, mimicking a man smoking weed at a concert to avoid getting caught, as the dab, from at least my knowledge, is based off of i don't fucking know honestly i'm white i don't fucking dab.

Mado sighed and took out her Quinque™, pointing it at Takizawa.

"I'm sorry, my male companion of whom I have had multiple romantic sessions with involving hand holding, hugging, general support, kissing, and if so builds up to it, sexual intercourse, but I am afraid that this is the last straw in our already strenuous relationship of which the details I refuse to disclose to the audience for the sake of comedy and general confusion of this scenario," Mado whispered.

Then, she killed Seidou.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> burn me


End file.
